Tone of Speech

Rev. Selwyn Hughes state that tone is important in speech than what is being said. He says that it is the tone with which we say it, which makes all the difference about what we say. For instance, the simple word "Sorry" can be said in different kinds of tone. It can said with remorse or can be said with arrogance. The tone of speech represents our emotions as well as our attitude.

Look at what Proverbs say,

Proverbs 15:1 (New International Version)

A gentle answer turns away wrath,

but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Harshness and gentleness both represents the tone of speech. We can speak either harshly or gently. Both has its own impact- negative and positive.

The Word of God exhorts us to be thus...

Ephesians 4:2 (New American Standard Bible)

with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love,

When we are like what Ephesians 4:2 states, our speech will surely reflect the right tone in every spoken word.

Minding our business

Communication is important and essential part of human life. However, excess talks can only be dangerous. The book of Proverbs says,

Proverbs 10:19 (New American Standard Bible)

When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable,

But he who restrains his lips is wise.

Too much talk can lead to sin in possible ways of gossip, slander, accusations and manipulations. The Word of God says, that a wise person restrains his speech, which means, a wise person talks only essential things and in appropriate ways. May we also learn to talk only that which are essential and beneficial so as to avoid possible transgressions...

1 Thessalonians 4:11 (New Living Translation)

Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before.

Conviction - whose work?

Many believers in Christ believe that their words should be in a way that brings conviction to others. Conviction cannot be brought about by our words. It is solely the function of the Spirit of God to bring conviction to people (John 16:8).

We do not have the power to convict others by wit of words. However, we are asked to speak words of truth with love.

Ephesians 4:15 (New American Standard Bible)

but speaking the truth in love,

Whether sharing of God's words and wisdom or general conversations in our day to day living, our responsibility is to speak the truth in love. Dot. There is no requirement that we frame up to speak in a way believing that our words will bring conviction and change in people. It can sometimes offend people when we try to convict them by our words. For when we do that we will be judging people rather than helping them realize the truth.

Being Assertive

Communicating Christ-like is to necessarily exhibit words of wisdom, justice and righteousness. When the Lord spoke, people were astonished by His words. When the gospel state that His words were authoritative, it meant His words were words of justice, righteousness and wisdom.

We need to be assertive in speech like the way the Lord did. Sometimes we tend to speak according to people, which they would like to hear or be pleased with. However, being assertive is to say what is right but in way that doesn't offend someone.

Before speaking we should always consider if, 'what we say is whether what we believe and what we would do?'. And if yes, then we should say it but with gentleness and firmness. This is exactly what it means to be assertive i.e speaking what we believe and do.

Apostle Paul said,

2 Corinthians 4:13 (New American Standard Bible)

But having the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, "I BELIEVED, THEREFORE I SPOKE," we also believe, therefore we also speak,

May we also learn to be assertive in our speech, speaking only that which we believe and do.

Irrespective of what others say...

Apostle Paul, a strong man of God never considered himself strong enough to subdue people through his communication. We all know that his letters speak powerfully to this day, ministering to the people of God. Yet we can see how he considered himself and his ministry...

1 Corinthians 4:10 (New Living Translation)

Our dedication to Christ makes us look like fools, but you claim to be so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are so powerful! You are honored, but we are ridiculed.

It never bothered him even when others looked down on him as a fool. For Christ's sake he was ready to become anything- weak, fool, dishonored, etc. Yet he made sure that he never forsook the way to be, behave and communicate Christ-like.

Job 17:9 (New American Standard Bible)

Nevertheless the righteous will hold to his way,

And he who has clean hands will grow stronger and stronger.

By being, talking and behaving Christ-like we will only be doing right what is right in God's eyes and as the Word of God says we will only grow stronger...

Cutting remarks?

The world teaches us that if we do not know how to reply aptly to those who may offend, criticize, or humiliate us, we will be regarded as weak or a fool. However, giving cutting remarks is not Christ's way. We really need not bother about what others may consider us as long as we are right before God.

May we take a look at what the book of Proverbs says in this regard,

Proverbs 12:18 (New Living Translation)

Some people make cutting remarks,

but the words of the wise bring healing.

As wise kids of God, our words should never offend others or be sarcastic. It should only bring healing to those who hears us speak. When we are offended, cornered, or humiliated we can either respond gently giving a reasonable explanation or remain silent as Jesus did. If we speak appropriately, none will regard us as fools or weak just because our communication display meekness.

Doing what is right...

Sometimes proving ourselves right or winning over an argument may not be as important as doing what is right as God's children. Doing what is right as a child of God is what pleases God, than trying to prove ourselves right. Our motto should be to stand right before God, irrespective of the fact whether others understand us or not. This does necessarily mean that we do not exhibit attitude, arrogance, indifference, rudeness or bad temper in our communications (both verbal and non-verbal), for these are not the traits of God's children.

To stand right before God we need to check ourselves to see if our communication has signs of gentleness, tolerance, humility and self control (both verbally and non-verbally). If by doing so we are still condemned we should not worry for our consolation lie in the fact that we have stood right before God, though we may have not proved ourselves right before others.

Apostle Paul would have faced similar scenarios in his life which is why he stated...

2 Corinthians 6:4,6,8 New Living Translation (NLT)

4.In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind.

6.We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love.

8.We serve God whether people honor us or despise us, whether they slander us or praise us. We are honest, but they call us impostors.

Words of Discretion

Many problems which arise amidst people is due to lack of discretion to communicate appropriately. Most of them assume that by talking aloud with authority or by using words of intellect or being able to win over arguments, they can prove themselves right.

As God's children the Word of God warns us not to get into arguments to prove ourselves right.

2 Timothy 2:14 (New Living Translation)

Remind everyone about these things, and command them in God’s presence to stop fighting over words. Such arguments are useless, and they can ruin those who hear them.

The Word of God states that arguments only ruin the hearer and is useless, for it will neither prove us right nor benefit the hearer. It will also spoil the purpose of communication. We need to understand that we should learn to communicate appropriately showing discretion and sound reasoning, by which we can prove ourselves right. Our communication should be in a way that potrays maturity, tolerance, patience and sound judgement which is contrary to what the world may teach.